The OCD Solution

For those of you that don't know...
OCD = Obsessive Compulsive Disorder = Multiple Personality Disorder
...yea, just thought you should know :)

-AZ

Two Weeks

Note: This is a Rap (So Rap haters, just imagine that this is one of my random poems instead :P), one of my recent random masterpieces, if that's what you'd like to call it ;P
The sudden urge to rap dawned on me while analyzing one of 2pac's songs, "Changes", for a school assignment.
Anyways, enjoy it.
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TWO WEEKS

its been two long weeks.
counting the seconds doesn't send me to sleep
instead, i start blabbering words that could mean something
if the words weren't left unheard. I'm not even sure,
if writing 'em down will stop me from blabbering more
but at least it'll stop me from locking 'em inside my mind,
twisted with unrelated thoughts, never to unwind.

its been two long weeks
the irony returns. I walk away from my wishes so that i can learn
to be a lil stronger than i already am, i don't think you'd understand,
its my idea of being a man. Taking command of all my thoughts,
at least i try, controlling myself, so that i never cry when i make the mistake of punching myself in the eye. (WOAH WHA?)
i don't want to explain, i don't even think i could.
'cause the state that i'm in really messes up my mood
switching between channels and subjects only to come back
to where i started, yea a lot of time has departed.

its been two long weeks
letting my mind wander in an attempt to ignore the pain
the memories of a better life, an obvious false claim,
the empty smokeless life, everything clear and predictable
wheres the fun, the "ideal" life being almost entirely despicable

its been two long weeks
talking to myself, staring at blank walls
pulling random books off the shelves.
Drowning my mind in pointless fantasies
Dreams mixing up with reality, consuming the best of me.

its been two long weeks
the uncontrollable shivers keep reminding me
of my unforgettable addiction that makes me weak,
brings me down, dare i speak, makes me wonder
how the hell i've made it through these weeks
of endless hours of thinking, pondering,
with every second i stop blinking,
forgetting to regulate my breathing

yes its been,
too long not knowing what went wrong
too long not feeling invincibly strong
too long dwelling on imperfection
too long running in the opposite direction...
too long not making that choice
too long counting the endless days
too long not hearing her serum voice
too long not seeing her pretty face

too long...just too long

© Azarel Fernandes
_____________________

oh btw, feel free to analyze my *ahem* poem :)
...although i must warn you that there are many hidden meanings in these lines.

-AZ


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Linkin Park - New Divide

Linkin Park's latest single "New Divide" for the new Transformers movie was released yesterday, and the faithful pirates of the information superhighway were generous enough to gimme an *ahem* illegal copy of the song just about 9mins after its official release (HAH, beat that! ). And although New Divide is not their best song so far, its definitely worth a listen....no seriously, HEAR THE ****iN SONG!
FREE DOWNLOAD HERE

ooo ooo now some tv talk :D
YOU DON'T WANNA MISS THIS WEEKS EPISODE OF GOSSIP GIRL!!!
its the season finale and its...well...good, to say the least
WATCH GOSSIP GIRL S02E25 ONLINE HERE

oh and don't worry, I've got something for you How I Met Your Mother lovers too :P
here's the season 4 finale, hope you love it :D
WATCH HOW I MET YOUR MOTHER S04E24 ONLINE HERE
quick spoiler...the story is not over yet :P
Tune in next season and maybe just maybe the poor lil kids will hear the end of the story of how their dad (who happens to have a suspiciously good memory of past events) met their mom! O.o XD

hope you freaks are all set for summer '09 btw :)

l8rz

-AZ

EiGHTEEN

For those of you who suffer from some type of brain malfunction, i'd like to remind you that it was my eighteenth birthday yesterday! :D
And ever since, people have kept asking me, "how do u feel now that you're finally 18?" and so far i've kept answering 'em with the same lie over and over again, "i feel like i'm still 15! :P" (..My inability to accept the horrifying fact that i'm growing old + my inner kidish desire to live in a supersized bouncing castle :D ). Well today i'm gonna take a minute and let you inside my head, telling you what i really feel about being eighteen! Gosh, just saying it gives me the shivers :S XD

I FEEL LIKE TIME IS KICKING ME IN THE ASS!!! :|
Yea that pretty much sums up all i wanted to say for now. *sigh*

bunnies rule ;P
l8rz

-AZ

For(n)ever - Hoobastank

Although i LOVE heavy-metal and hard-rock, there are some bands that just have talent, irrespective of their genre, and you all know how much i appreciate good music :)
So this week i thought i'd pull out a new album that i've just recently added to my music collection!

[WARNING: if you're a "metalhead" i doubt you'll like this album that much :P ]

	01	My Turn
	02	I Don't Think I Love You
	03	So Close, So Far
	04	All About You
	05	The Letter
	06	Tears Of Yesterday
	07	Sick Of Hanging On
	08	You're The One
	09	Who The Hell Am I?
	10	You Need To Be Here
	11	Gone Gone Gone

Njhoyeee

Your favorite retard ;)

-AZ

Careless Whisper

When i got news that Seether had just finished recording the cover for George Michael's cheesy hit "Careless Whisper" i....i really wasn't sure what it would sound like! XD But, despite my doubts, it turned out pretty good! And the coolest part about this cover is that it actually sounds less cheesy! :O
oh and by the way, less cheesy, for me, is good :D

I managed to get my hands on a low quality version of the song for all you Seether fans out there :D (ain't i the best?!! :P )
CLICK HERE TO DOWNLOAD
yea, i'll update this post with a better quality link when i get it. no worries ;)
mwah...hehe

-AZ

EDIT: new download link !!!

American Idol Season 8 Kicks Off!!!

I'm going to be honest. The first two weeks of 2009 weren't that great. There was no kickass party, no loud countdown, and most importantly no fireworks! Lately though, things have been brightening up. Okay, maybe dark clouds and rainfall don't make a brighter day, but they somehow always brighten up my mood.
Anyways, straight to the purpose of this post AMERICAN IDOL!

gotcha links for Season 8 Episode 1 right here

Part 1 of 2
Part 2 of 2
(note: links may not work later as there are always snitches that report the videos )

BY THE WAY, *RESPECT* to the lifeless uploaders who do us all a favour and spend their *ahem* valuable time to support the free world!
Much love,

-AZ